Anchor the Deal

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Principle #1: She who makes the first offer, sets the pace.

Introduction: Be the First to Lead

In every negotiation—especially in divorce—someone is going to set the tone. If you don't take the lead, the other party, their lawyer, or even the court system will. When they do, you'll spend the rest of the process reacting to their version of reality. That's why this method starts with one critical move: Anchor the Deal.

Anchoring the deal means you make the first offer, early and clearly, so every conversation going forward is rooted in your framing. This is the first and most important step in the Sedlment™ approach. You don't need to have all the answers, but you need to show up with the first offer—backed by the best information you have—and let the other side respond.

The Pen Analogy: Why First Numbers Stick

Imagine I offer to sell you my pen. If I don’t tell you what it’s worth, you’ll probably assume it costs $2 or $3. But this is no ordinary pen. It has hidden features—custom ink, handmade casing, and never leaks.

If I then tell you it’s worth $100, I have to justify the value to someone who already mentally anchored it at $3. That becomes an uphill battle. But if I had started by stating:

“This pen is $100. Here’s why…”

...then we negotiate down from that number. You might counter with $75, but we’re no longer anywhere near $3.

That’s the psychological power of anchoring—and it applies directly to divorce settlement strategy.

Principle #1: She who makes the first offer, sets the pace.

Introduction: Be the First to Lead

In every negotiation—especially in divorce—someone is going to set the tone. If you don't take the lead, the other party, their lawyer, or even the court system will. When they do, you'll spend the rest of the process reacting to their version of reality. That's why this method starts with one critical move: Anchor the Deal.

Anchoring the deal means you make the first offer, early and clearly, so every conversation going forward is rooted in your framing. This is the first and most important step in the Sedlment™ approach. You don't need to have all the answers, but you need to show up with the first offer—backed by the best information you have—and let the other side respond.

The Pen Analogy: Why First Numbers Stick

Imagine I offer to sell you my pen. If I don’t tell you what it’s worth, you’ll probably assume it costs $2 or $3. But this is no ordinary pen. It has hidden features—custom ink, handmade casing, and never leaks.

If I then tell you it’s worth $100, I have to justify the value to someone who already mentally anchored it at $3. That becomes an uphill battle. But if I had started by stating:

“This pen is $100. Here’s why…”

...then we negotiate down from that number. You might counter with $75, but we’re no longer anywhere near $3.

That’s the psychological power of anchoring—and it applies directly to divorce settlement strategy.